My due date is
Today I am
I have gained |
Continued from yesterday.... After weeks of going to the fertility clinic nearly every day, we were sent out on our own with nothing but a few instructions -- get a lot of rest, take your progesterone faithfully, stay away from home pregnancy tests, and come back in 11 days to give blood for a beta hCG (blood pregnancy test). 11 days!!! They might as well have said to come back in 11 years. I didn't have any strategies laid out for keeping myself occupied during the long wait. I got through as best I could -- spent too much time online, read a lot of books, played far too many games of solitaire. Every night I put an X through another day on the calendar as we inched toward The Big Day. About a week into the wait I started feeling... different. A little light-headed when I stood up, a little sensitive to smells, a little too tired. I started feeling like I might be pregnant. I was certain that my mind was playing tricks on me, that I was wanting to be pregnant so badly that I was manufacturing symptoms. I didn't tell my husband how I was feeling; I didn't want to get his hopes up. Every day smells bothered me a little more than the day before; it got to where I had to ask my husband to cook because I couldn't stand the smell anymore. And then one day (the day before my pregnancy test, actually) I suddenly knew. I was standing at my front door, key in the lock, when the realization came. I'm pregnant I whispered to myself, I'm really pregnant. Sure enough, I was. Despite my nurse's warnings, I used a home pregnancy test the following morning. It was instantly positive. I went to the clinic for the official test, and that was positive as well. (My beta hCG was 163 at 11dp3dt for those who are interested). I'm still getting used to this drastic change in my life; I still don't quite believe it sometimes. After trying to conceive for so very, very long it's hard to absorb the fact that we have finally succeeded. I can't believe I'm having a baby.
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